Reflections on Unfettered Mind

[Trevor Atkinson]

I was introduced to the Unfettered Mind ning a little while ago by a close friend here in the UK but I have never subscribed to a Buddhist website before - and as my practice has been mostly in the Theravadin tradition I was not really sure what to expect. However, I do have a very basic understanding of Tibetan Buddhism and have been curious about its attraction for Westerners for quite some time, so I thought I would dip my toe in the Tibetan Buddhist water and just see what happens.

So far, I have been made to feel very welcome by the administrators which I appreciate very much but looking at the website as an outsider I have noticed a few things which I need to reflect on a bit more, hence this blog. One of the first things I have noticed is that although there are 400 or so subscribers on the ning only a handful or so choose to take an active part so I'm curious about what the majority of subscribers get from being members. Maybe they are just surfing and have no real interest in contributing or maybe they lack the courage to post messages, I just don't know. It would be interesting to hear from the silent majority.

Trevor

[Leslie]

Hi Tardy Eye,

It sounds as though you are stepping into your own strengths. This will free you from the need to compare yourself to others, and in doing that, you will perhaps go beneath the filters of pride/shame, more than/less than. Good to hear.
I am wondering if your interpretation of pride in others is always accurate. Perhaps your sense of insignificance is what is at play and others are actually more available than you allow yourself to experience.

[fivebells]

How do you enter into the process?

It's varied as things have progressed. At the moment, it involves making a response in an on going argument, then sitting down to meditate and releasing all the hostility and rhetorical planning energy which comes up, to return to resting in direct awareness.
Or maybe I'm just addicted to debate...

[Tardy Eye of Common Courtesy]

I always have to smile at your posts fivebells your quirky sense of humour always shines through. How do you enter into the process? I have caught myself engaging into the same script only with different players. Since Franca introduced me to the concept of being headless I use it in certain situations and have found the technique to be quite useful . People seem to open up more. There is less of me in the exchange I tend to see the person more clearly. There is less of me(the ego) in the experience. Robina Coutin talks about pride and anger being one in the same in one of her pod casts. I think I am beginning to get that. The internal "how dare you" is diminishing. I see it everywhere, how dare you cut me off, how dare you interupt me , how dare you criticise me ect. ect. "Who do you think you are" is another script that gets thrown around a lot. There is a tremendous sense of pride in those around me ,from very acomplished athletes , to physicians , people with highly developed skills in argumentative ability. Now I can pause and take a breath. I think why is it so important for me to be seen and heard amoung them. I often feel very insignificant and yet I know I played a part in creating it.
know it's not that important in the sceme of things.

[fivebells]

Oh, and yes, the "argument clinic" is one of my favorites. :-)

[fivebells]

An upbringing dominated by disrespect and hostility, which I internalized. I have to learn to relate to those things peacefully, and an external context often helps. Plus, I am an academic, so it is potentially useful professional development, inasmuch as it's good practice for staying calm in the face of rejection.

I got the term "internet argument" from this picture:

[Tardy Eye of Common Courtesy]

I have to ask the "why" here fivebells? Is it bordom, are you in a profession where you need to hone in those skills. Just curious.

[Trevor Atkinson]

Thanks fivebells. I took a look at the LiveJournal community link and thought I had entered some kind of surreal universe where it's OK to be nasty just for fun. Perhaps it's not the same for you, but the difficulties of ordinary life give me more than enough opportunities to train my monkey mind. I also logged onto to your other link (Ask Metafilter) whose delightful tag "Please help me get into an argument" reminded me of the Monty Python sketch called the "The Argument Clinic". It's very funny and is probably available on the internet I would imagine.
Thanking people for their feedback is one thing, but inviting their harshest criticism seems almost spiritually masochistic to me. :-)

[fivebells]

I hang out at the Buddhist LiveJournal community quite a bit. It can get pretty nasty there. There have been accusations of pedophaelia against people using their given names, in the past. That level of hostility is unacceptable, but overall, it's been excellent training. Relatively recently, I've even gone looking for such conflict. If someone criticises me, the best thing I can do is thank them for the feedback, and invite their harshest criticism. Another one of those simple-but-not-easy things. :-)

[Trevor Atkinson]

I've just read an article called "Dharma Wars: What is it about the internet that turns Buddhist teachers into bullies ?" by Zenshin Michael Haederie in the Winter 2009 issue of Tricycle and I found it a bit disturbing. I have come to realise that the internet can bring out both the best and the worst in those of us who choose to post but it never occurred to me that Buddhists would use the opportunity offered by the internet to be so vindictive.

[Ann Braun]

I confess to having done an age census! For details of this and other profiling of UM members see this and related blogs.