Last Words

[A Serious Buddhist]

Buddhist practice has cultivated in me an interest in states of mind before death, so naturally this little op-ed piece in the New York Times caught my eye: quotations taken from inmates’ last statements in Texas just before being executed. I found it moving. All were interesting. Here are a few that struck me:

"My heart goes is going ba bump ba bump ba bump."

"I am nervous and it is hard to put my thoughts together. Sometimes you don’t know what to say."

"Could you please tell that lady right there — can I see her? She is not looking at me — I want you to understand something, hold no animosity toward me. I want you to understand. Please forgive me."

"I said I was going to tell a joke. Death has set me free. That’s the biggest joke."

"Give me my rights. Give me my rights. Give me my rights. Give me my life back."

Read the rest by clicking here.

[Leslie]

Rob,

By coincidence, I had a painful experience with a yoga teacher today. She was aggressive and mean, and justified her actions by saying she couldn't help me and needed to tell me to go elsewhere.

This is not necessary and is a way of avoiding her own issues. However, it has had the power to create hurt in me and has taken away from my capacity to get things done today.

I deeply regret any times I have acted in a cruel way to others. So much more can be achieved with kindness.

[Rob MacLachlan]

Hi Trevor,

Thanks for your perceptive note. Yes, when people combine two "negatives" within the same sentence they usually mean the precise opposite, so yes, I objected or meant to challenge your style of conceptual thinking. I should have been more direct, but it was not meant personal.

In my experience the best Buddhist teachers, including Americans, could be unnervingly confrontational and unbending in cutting through conceptual thought, calling a "spade a spade" with little room for ego accommodation, and returning oneself to practise with not much more. Perhaps this was the type of teaching Americans needed the most, but to be truthful, aren't the Brits worse;-)?

I was an undergraduate (college) major in philosophy and can attest to the utter brutality of logical conceptual dialogue. The wisdom of the Heart Sutra could be quickly reduced to smoldering rubble by British rapier-like wit combined with the logic of a Panzer tank. Good luck, you still aren't anywhere.

Perhaps some of this is cultural as Leslie suggested, or perhaps I am reacting as an anglophile, all too familiar with what doesn't work. Sorry for the non-clarification.

[Rob MacLachlan]

Hi Morticia,

Are you sure UM actively encourages the use of a false identity? I certainly understand the many good reasons people choose to present themselves anonymously, but it's notable that a number of physicians, psychologists, attorneys and other "high profile" professionals with legal exposure have chosen to use their real names. Sometimes it's just easier to write without disguise from the heart, no matter how foolhardy a post. It can also be a process of unmasking oneself as part of the path, a disidentification with our cherished sense of self. After all, who and what deserve protection? But I do understand your point, and obviously I still prefer to look like an elephant ;-)

[Trevor Atkinson]

Hi Leslie
I'm not sure that it's cultural differences to be honest - Rob's comments felt a bit too personal for that.

[Trevor Atkinson]

Hello Rob

It would seem that I have upset you in some way but I'm afraid I don't really understand why. When someone says "no offence intended", in my experience it often means that you are about to be offended anyway.

I was curious about Leslie's question because I am not doing much formal practice at the moment although I am trying to be as mindful as possible in my daily life. But it was Leslie's question and not mine and I just wanted to add a little encouragement to explore it further. The occassional questions I've tried to ask here on the UM ning have really been about making sure I understand what people are saying rather than being confrontational. I was lucky enough to be born to parents who always encouraged me to think for myself and to ask questions when I didn't understand something.

If you really are an anglophile Rob, you will know that we Brits find it difficult to bear our soul and that we envy those who can.

[Morticia (Not My Real Name)]

For those of you who may be new(ish) to the Ning, it should be noted that the use of a 'fake name' to which Rob refers is not only accepted by the administrators, but actively encouraged by them:
http://unmind.ning.com/profile/ThePrivacyWatchdog

[Leslie]

Do you think cultural differences could be helping us miss each other here?

Trevor- what do you think?
Rob-what do you think?

Trevor seems to me to be hanging in there with our North American tendencies to reveal ourselves emotionally, so I am willing to hang in there with him too, even if he doesn't want to be like me.

He has been a valuable addition to the ning and asked lots of good questions. I was hoping he would ask some more! Hey ...maybe we can design a question together Trevor and post it as the commonwealth solution, a more Canadian than American style of dealing with difference.

[Rob MacLachlan]

Hi Trevor,

I'm an anglophile, no offense intended, but one day after expressing "intrigue" about spending "less time on the cushion" toward a future forum question, you've evasively turned back the entire question, as if in clever sartorial defense.

From my end, this form of pseudo-Socratic dialogue is frustrating because the questioner fails to reveal anything about their personal travails, as if the goal is simply to engage in sharp-witted debate. Your style of intellectual inquiry reminds me very much of another Brit who presented himself under a fake name, and eventually left this list in frustration because his challenging game-playing conceptual inquiries were insufficiently answered.

I've benefited from the writings of Steven Batchelor, but even his quasi-Buddhist pattern of systematic doubt eventually reaches it's limits. If that's your stance then why not better articulate your actual experience of meditation?

[Trevor Atkinson]

You are very kind Leslie but the question was yours, so I hope you ask it.

[Leslie]

I agree....what would you like to ask!

I think, Trevor, perhaps you are finding your gift here....helping us on the ning open to our own questions....ask away.