Fear of ... meditation

[Dan]

Does anyone else ever think "I really like who I am right now" and find a fear of meditation (fear that it will cause you to change)?

Thanks,
Dan

[fivebells]

1. You're going to change anyway.
2. If you like who you are, why do you want to meditate?

[A Serious Buddhist]

How can we not change? We all change whether we meditate or not.

For me, it's more, "ouch this is so painful I wish I were back where I was before I started this practice." That's only in the worst moments. Most of the time I'm really grateful to my "self" (whoever that is) for practising meditation for 30 years.

One more thought: if you're blessed with someone in your life who doesn't meditate, is open-minded, knows you well, and has their head screwed on right, keep that connection alive! Unmoved by your Buddhist philosophies-du-jour (I always have lots of these going on), they will be able to give a good and loving perspective on your state of mental health, or at least how it seems to them. This will help you guard against changing into a babbling self-obsessed cult follower or whatever other horrible trap we can stumble into in spiritual practice.

[Patricia Ivan]

Hi Dan

I had the same fears about other forms of self-exploration embarked upon in the past. Once I turned on the lights, I realized it was just a fear of the dark.

p.s. Nothing changed, I just got clarity on what was already there

Patricia

[Dan]

Well said, Patricia, exactly what I needed :)

[Tracy Ormond]

Thats me. Ii am " scared" of meditating. And i keep looking at this trying to find what it is, i "dont want" to let go of. But i find that i constantly "circle" the time of meditation. I find i am diving into "listening" to all the pods of kens, going for walkes, and taking them as meditation time. An escape, i fear. I am amazed that this topic is up for discussion!!! I look forward to the comments to follow.

t

[Dan]

Tracy,

Just sit. There is nothing else you can do but just sit. Try just sitting with the breath for 1 or 2 breaths and then say "Ah, ok, no big deal". The next day, try again.

If you want, we can try together (not at the same place, but at the same time) and share what happens.

I really like what Patricia (and Jim from our local sangha) said. It isn't about changing who I am, it is just about being awake.

Dan

[Janet]

I often encounter fear of meditation. In my case, it is more of a fear of what I will have to experience if I open. The change part doesn't sound all bad, and that isn't where tension arises for me. But fears arise over what will I encounter, what must I see, what self-protecctive myths must I let go of? No control! When we go deeply, there is no telling what will arise. I have to let go, and there's no safety net. I recall that Ken says that in the free fall, remember that there is no bottom to hit. That helps, but . . .

I am both eager to see clearly and aware that seeing clearly will, at times, be searingly painful. So there is both fear and also a knowing that the fear isn't a reliable guide. What I trust is the experience that again and again shows me that avoiding what I fear makes situations more convoluted and hardened. Alternatively, going right into the fear allows space in, and the whole thing begins to shift. So there's fear and faith.