Bereavement Grief Loss Meditaton

[Chris McCarthy]

I could use some input. I am a volunteer at my local Hospice organization. My colleagues are aware of my mediation practice and have asked me to teach meditation to the attendees at the Hospice Bereavement Support Group. I would appreciate any suggestions that people may have to offer. A concern that I have is that I don't want to take people into an area, mentally or emotionally, that they are not prepared to go. I am thinking that a simple relaxation meditation on the breath or a simple guided meditation to a "happy place" may be a good start. Any thoughts? Thanks in advance for your help.

[Robert Adkins]

Your concerns about how to best approach teaching meditation in a hospice bereavement support group are valid ones. The group will likely be comprised of individuals from a variety of faith traditions or no spiritual or religious beliefs at all. In my view, you would best meet the needs of the group if your approach is non-sectarian and universal. I suggest you go with your first inclination and teach a simple, yet effective breath based meditation.

In teaching meditation, the Buddha always started with anapana-sati (awareness of respiration) because the breath is the one totally universal, non-sectarian tool that we all have in every moment of life that can be used anytime, anywhere to help us calm, concentrate, and bring clarity to the mind. There is no Buddhist breath, Christian breath, Muslim breath, Hindu breath, Indian, African, French or American breath. Breath is breath. Who can object?

As a hospice volunteer, I found that teaching the technique of anapana-sati meditation very useful in working with both patients experiencing pain and/or fear of dying and those suffering a loss and going through the grieving process. An agitated mind constantly rolling from thought to thought only multiplies and intensifies suffering. Dwelling in the past or worrying about the future, is of little value when we are trying to cope with pain and grief. When we are mindful and aware in the moment we begin to see things as they really are and we are better able to make decisions that will be good for ourselves and good for others.

As for guided meditation, it is, in my view, more of a distraction, an escape from what is truly going on the moment. It may be relaxing and may be useful in some contexts, but it is more of an entertainment than meditation. It teaches us that when we face adversity in our lives, we can run away and hide for a while, instead of facing reality with clarity and equanimity.

I hope that you find this input helpful. I would be interested to know what you decide to do and how it goes. Thank you, Chris, for your service to others through your volunteer work with hospice.

Robert